Hitting the Red Brick Wall of Grief and How to Break Through
When the Red Brick Wall Hits Back
You don’t see it coming.
One minute, you’re fine. Moving forward. Handling things. Life might not be perfect, but you’re functioning. You’re doing what you need to do.
Then BAM, out of nowhere, you hit the red brick wall!
Or maybe, the red brick wall hits you…
And that’s the thing about delayed responses- whether it’s grief, trauma, stress, or even physical pain- it doesn’t always hit right away.
Sometimes, your body, your mind, your emotions take their time. They hold off, let you function, let you move forward, and then… they hit you when you least expect it.
The Science of the Delayed Hit
Think about muscle soreness. You push through a workout, feeling strong, feeling good. The next morning? Still fine. Then, day two hits, and your whole body aches all over.
That’s Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness (DOMS)—your body catching up to the work you put it through.
Your nervous system works the same way.
When something heavy happens- trauma, loss, an overwhelming event- your brain protects you. It keeps things running, holds back the emotional flood, keeps you functional.
But that survival mechanism doesn’t last forever. At some point, when your brain decides it’s safe to feel it, the wall comes crashing down.
And that’s when everything stops.
You feel exhausted. Foggy. Like even simple things take twice the effort. You might go numb, or you might feel everything all at once. You were moving through life just fine… until you weren’t.
What Happens When You Hit the Wall?
Your nervous system isn’t broken. Your brain isn’t failing you.
It’s just catching up.
This is why healing never feels logical. You think you’ve handled something, processed it, moved past it- and then it hits again.
But this isn’t a setback. This isn’t failure. It’s just the next layer peeling away. This isn’t something you can rush.
You can’t force a bruised muscle to heal faster. You can’t tell your body to stop being sore. The same goes for your mind. The only way past the brick wall is through it.
This is key: you don’t have to just sit there and suffer.
Breaking Through: How to Recover and Move Forward
Yes, mindset is everything. How you think about the wall determines whether you stay stuck or find a way through it.
But mindset alone isn’t enough. Your body and brain need actual support to recover. Here’s how:
1. Shift the Story in Your Mind
• Instead of “Why am I stuck”? ask “What is this teaching me”?
• Instead of “I shouldn’t feel this way,” say “This is just part of the process.”
• Instead of fighting it, try accepting it because resistance just makes the wall feel taller.
2. Move Your Body
Trauma, stress, and grief get stored in the body. If you’re feeling restless, exhausted, or frozen in place, try these things:
• Walking (slow, steady, no pressure)
• Stretching or yoga (even if it’s just lying on the floor and breathing)
• Going outside barefoot in the grass - grounding your body to the earth
3. Breathe & Connect with Something Bigger
When emotions feel heavy and overwhelming, come back to your breath and spirit:
• Breathwork: Slow, deep breathing calms the nervous system and tells your body it’s safe
• Prayer or spiritual connection: Whether you call it God, the Divine, the Universe- connect with something bigger than yourself
• Stillness in nature: Step outside, feel the sun on your skin, listen to the wind- let the world remind you that you’re not alone
4. Let Yourself Feel It (For As Long As You Need To)
There’s no timeline for grief. No right way to process.
Let yourself feel what you feel- anger, sadness, numbness, all of it- without judgment. Your body and mind will tell you when it’s time to move forward.
5. Connect (Even When You Don’t Want To)
When you hit the wall, it’s easy to withdraw. But isolation makes the impact worse. Even if you don’t want to talk about it, being around people- friends, family, a pet, even strangers at a coffee shop can remind you that you’re not alone.
You’re Not Stuck. You’re Just in the Middle of It
Hitting the wall doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It just means you’re human.
Pain, grief, and healing all work on their own timeline. And just like a muscle that is sore today will feel stronger tomorrow. What you’re going through right now?
It won’t last forever.
So when the red brick wall hits back- don’t fight it. Feel it. Move through it. And trust that on the other side, there’s more strength waiting for you!
Want to heal on a deeper level? Stop looking for quick fixes. I am a holistic registered nurse consultant who will ask the right questions and guide you to the root cause and real transformation.
Want to heal on a deeper level?
Stop chasing quick fixes.
I’m a holistic nurse who’s lived through pain, grief, trauma, anxiety & depression and healed naturally.
I’ll ask the right questions, get to the root cause, and guide you to real transformation.
Not theory. Not fluff. Just lived experience + expert support.
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Transform To Wellness- Kathleen Thorne RN, LMT (RN3252112/ MA54880)
An important message Kathleen. Thank you for sharing. It’s easy to think ‘I should be over this by now’. Doesn’t work like that though.
It’s similar when I help a client release a belief, another one will come to the surface - peeling back the layers, as you say. Keep up the great work 💕