Why Your “Broken Parts” Aren’t Broken at All - They’re Buried Power
The Shadow Isn’t the Enemy. It’s You, Asking to Be Seen
The Shadow Isn’t the Enemy—It’s You, Asking to Be Seen
Let me tell you something no one teaches in nursing school, massage therapy training, or most well-intentioned self-help circles:
The parts of you you’ve been trying to fix, numb, silence, or “rise above”? They’re not broken.
They’re buried.
Carl Jung called it the “shadow.” Debbie Ford, whose book “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers” is currently wrecking me in all the right ways and calls them the hidden parts of us that at times show up through “sneak attacks.”
And she’s right. They do.
In her words, “these sneak attacks will handicap you in the areas of life that mean the most.”
And damn if that doesn’t hit, right?
The shadow is made up of all the things you were told were too much.
Too angry.
Too needy.
Too wild.
Too loud.
Too soft.
Too sensitive.
Too emotional.
Too messy.
So you packed them up. You built walls around them. You learned how to perform the version of yourself that felt safe.
But here’s the thing that knocked the wind out of me once I finally looked straight at it:
That shadow? It’s not your flaw. It’s your forgotten self.
Why the hell does this matter?
Because deep inside the trauma, the chaos, the ache, the grief, the rage…
Inside all the stuff you wish never happened…
There are golden nuggets.
Yes. In the bullshit. In the pain. In the patterns.
And not in some toxic positivity way. I’m not here to tell you “everything happens for a reason.”
I’m here to tell you: there’s wisdom in what you had to bury.
Debbie Ford also says that when we suppress any feeling or impulse, we suppress its polar opposite.
Think about that.
If we deny fear, we minimize courage.
If we suppress sadness, we shut down joy.
If we silence rage, we numb passion.
So maybe that “dark side” you keep trying to fix?
Maybe it’s not dark at all!
Maybe it’s just you, unfiltered.
So let’s go there.
Take a breath.
Now think of someone who drives you absolutely up the wall.
The kind of person that makes your jaw clench, your inner critic scream, your blood pressure spike.
Got one?
Good. Now ask yourself:
What exactly do they trigger in you?
What trait makes your skin crawl?
Now flip the mirror.
Where does that trait live inside you?
It doesn’t mean you’re just like them. It doesn’t mean you’re wrong.
It means part of your shadow is knocking.
And it’s time to answer the door.
Here’s what I know from walking this path:
There’s no wholeness without truth.
The parts you reject hold the keys to your power.
Integration - not perfection - is the real goal.
The light only gets brighter when you stop denying the dark.
The “you” you’ve been avoiding might be the most honest one of all.
This isn’t about self-blame.
It’s about self-return.
You don’t heal by slicing yourself in half. You heal by bringing all of you to the table.
Even the parts that still feel raw.
Especially those!
If you’re ready to look…
Don’t just sit with this. Sit with yourself.
I’m not asking you to journal like you’re trying to impress your therapist.
I’m asking you to listen- gut-level, no-bullshit, blood-on-the-page kind of listening.
Try this:
What have you been trying to “fix” about yourself that maybe isn’t broken- just scared?
What part of you feels dangerous to show? Why?
What did you learn was “too much” growing up and what if it was actually your superpower?
When was the last time you were fully honest about what still hurts?
This isn’t about answers. It’s about courage.
To feel.
To face.
To stay.
Because healing?
It’s not a checklist.
It’s a reckoning.
And wholeness doesn’t come from perfection.
It comes from presence.
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Sincerely,
Kathleen Thorne RN, LMT
Transform To Wellness- Kathleen Thorne RN, LMT (RN3252112/ MA54880)
I so loved every word of this, Kathleen. I can resonate with every syllable. So detailed and with so much passion and emotion. Fantastically written.
Absolutely loved this. Such a powerful reframe.
Our “dark side” often holds the very parts of us that make us whole, human, and deeply alive.
There’s beauty in the unfiltered.