I struggled with this thought yesterday. Last day of school, only half day and the fourteen year old sits in the principal’s office. The secretary murmurs he can’t act like that. He lost his mom to a horrible death this year. His teacher retired in April. His stepdad has moved on to another woman, who is taking all the kids on fabulous vacations. The question- How long is a kid allowed to grieve? How long? Grandma says we are hurting but have to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps. Can’t miss too much school. Can’t act out. Grieving time is over. As a nurse, am I a coddler? I had my first brush with my mom living death when I was twenty. She told me she was ready to die, but I told her I wasn’t ready for her to die. She lived twenty seven years after that diagnosis. My nursing instructors wanted me to take a year off. I told them, my mom would see that as loss of goals and give up herself. She had my dad and I followed through with getting married as well.
Four summers ago, my private duty patient coded on me. He felt like a grandson. But he wasn’t and my dog comforted me in my mourning. I couldn’t publicly grieve. My own platitudes crushed flat at my feet. Numb, I got through those weeks until I met my new case. A boy and family so different from my “little guy.”
So did I coddle this fourteen year old- you betcha. And all these other students overcoming situations my culture can’t believe. I guess I could write a book.
I’m praying for you, Kathleen. Do whatever you need to do.
you should write a book and you are a writer and you do write books and I think this is a beautiful journey that you're on even though it comes with heartache and grief, but it also comes with love and joy and I do understand you, Mollie, more than you know....
We see so many things in life and we don't even have to be nurses or anything like that but being in that part, it brings a lot of responsibility and challenges with us and I believe that God put us in this arena because he knew that we could handle it even at times we feel like we can't. We have to draw on his strength and the support of others. I think that's the way it's supposed to be no matter how hard.
I love what you wrote and it definitely resonates and you should absolutely do a book. I think it would be a best seller in the New York Times because there's so many of us and it doesn't even matter for a nurse or a doctor or a therapist or whatever it hits with so many people that go through these thoughts and emotions and a lot of them don't speak up or saying thing in fear of being spoke to negatively like well. If you can't you know take the heat get out of the pot you know what I'm saying that type of thing people just don't know if they haven't been there.
I have heard that line so many times from mostly health care professionals, that I say, “I should write a book,” tongue in cheek because I have written five novels using many of my experiences in health care. Alice in Summer Triangle is a no nonsense older nurse, who still practices the way I learned forty three years ago.
You absolutely should. I’ve been told the same, but I’m really not a writer. I wouldn’t even know how to write a book even though most of my comments are dissertations that could classify as chapters in books. 😂😂😂 so many stories, to tell some very humorous and others, not so much. Other thing that was suggested is standup comic and of course we can’t use real names, but I’m sure we have a lot of hilarious stories. At least I know I do.
Wow Kathleen, thank you for being so raw and so open to sharing what you are going through. Bernard at the drive-through window holding hands through that window, both of you crying. Just made me cry! I love "A divine appointment." We find the people just when we need them most and it is never the same person or the same experience. Sending you much haling and prayers
I struggled with this thought yesterday. Last day of school, only half day and the fourteen year old sits in the principal’s office. The secretary murmurs he can’t act like that. He lost his mom to a horrible death this year. His teacher retired in April. His stepdad has moved on to another woman, who is taking all the kids on fabulous vacations. The question- How long is a kid allowed to grieve? How long? Grandma says we are hurting but have to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps. Can’t miss too much school. Can’t act out. Grieving time is over. As a nurse, am I a coddler? I had my first brush with my mom living death when I was twenty. She told me she was ready to die, but I told her I wasn’t ready for her to die. She lived twenty seven years after that diagnosis. My nursing instructors wanted me to take a year off. I told them, my mom would see that as loss of goals and give up herself. She had my dad and I followed through with getting married as well.
Four summers ago, my private duty patient coded on me. He felt like a grandson. But he wasn’t and my dog comforted me in my mourning. I couldn’t publicly grieve. My own platitudes crushed flat at my feet. Numb, I got through those weeks until I met my new case. A boy and family so different from my “little guy.”
So did I coddle this fourteen year old- you betcha. And all these other students overcoming situations my culture can’t believe. I guess I could write a book.
I’m praying for you, Kathleen. Do whatever you need to do.
you should write a book and you are a writer and you do write books and I think this is a beautiful journey that you're on even though it comes with heartache and grief, but it also comes with love and joy and I do understand you, Mollie, more than you know....
We see so many things in life and we don't even have to be nurses or anything like that but being in that part, it brings a lot of responsibility and challenges with us and I believe that God put us in this arena because he knew that we could handle it even at times we feel like we can't. We have to draw on his strength and the support of others. I think that's the way it's supposed to be no matter how hard.
I love what you wrote and it definitely resonates and you should absolutely do a book. I think it would be a best seller in the New York Times because there's so many of us and it doesn't even matter for a nurse or a doctor or a therapist or whatever it hits with so many people that go through these thoughts and emotions and a lot of them don't speak up or saying thing in fear of being spoke to negatively like well. If you can't you know take the heat get out of the pot you know what I'm saying that type of thing people just don't know if they haven't been there.
God bless you and I'm praying for you as well 🙏🙏🙏
I have heard that line so many times from mostly health care professionals, that I say, “I should write a book,” tongue in cheek because I have written five novels using many of my experiences in health care. Alice in Summer Triangle is a no nonsense older nurse, who still practices the way I learned forty three years ago.
Memoir someday? Maybe.
You absolutely should. I’ve been told the same, but I’m really not a writer. I wouldn’t even know how to write a book even though most of my comments are dissertations that could classify as chapters in books. 😂😂😂 so many stories, to tell some very humorous and others, not so much. Other thing that was suggested is standup comic and of course we can’t use real names, but I’m sure we have a lot of hilarious stories. At least I know I do.
Wow Kathleen, thank you for being so raw and so open to sharing what you are going through. Bernard at the drive-through window holding hands through that window, both of you crying. Just made me cry! I love "A divine appointment." We find the people just when we need them most and it is never the same person or the same experience. Sending you much haling and prayers
Thanks, Karen