Suicide Awareness & Prevention: Breaking the Silence, Saving Lives
At 12:53 PM the phone rang and everything changed…
Suicide: The Conversation We Need to Have
At 12:53 PM, my phone rang.
It was a call I wasn’t expecting. The kind that makes the world go silent. The kind that stops you in your tracks, steals the breath from your lungs, and leaves you standing there, unsure if you even heard the words right.
My nephew—who had just turned 41—was gone. A gunshot wound to the head.
Shock. Disbelief. Then the crushing wave of grief. My sister was on the other end of the line, broken. Blaming herself. Asking why.
And the truth is… there are no easy answers.
I know I’m not the only one who has gotten this kind of call. If you’re reading this and you’ve lost someone—whether to suicide, a tragic accident, or any other sudden loss—please know that you are in my prayers 🙏
I know how heavy this kind of grief is. I know the questions that never seem to stop. And I want you to know you are not alone.
Suicide is something we don’t talk about enough. But we need to.
Because it’s happening more and more. Because too many people are struggling in silence. Because if talking about it can save even one life—then this conversation is worth having.
The Reality of Suicide: The Hard Numbers
Suicide rates are rising, and the numbers are staggering.
According to provisional data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC):
• In 2023, nearly 49,300 people in the U.S. died by suicide. That’s one death every 11 minutes.
• For every suicide, there are an estimated 25 attempts.
• Men die by suicide nearly four times more often than women.
• Suicide is the second leading cause of death for people ages 10-34.
• More than 50% of all suicides involve a firearm.
• The highest rates are among men over 75, at 44 per 100,000 men.
These are not just statistics. They are real people—friends, family, neighbors, coworkers. And many of them showed no obvious signs before they were gone.
Sometimes there are signs. Sometimes there aren’t. That’s one of the hardest truths about suicide. Some people struggle openly, while others seem fine—until they’re not.
Common Warning Signs:
• Withdrawing from family and friends. Pulling away from loved ones, canceling plans, isolating themselves.
• Drastic mood changes. Sudden shifts in emotions, especially going from deep depression to an eerie sense of calm.
• Expressing hopelessness. Saying things like “I can’t do this anymore” or “Everyone would be better off without me.”
• Giving away possessions. Settling affairs, making unexpected financial arrangements.
• Increased substance use. Using alcohol or drugs more than usual.
• Risk-taking behavior. Driving recklessly, engaging in dangerous activities.
• Talking about death—even jokingly. Statements like “I just don’t see the point anymore” should never be ignored.
But here’s the hardest part: Sometimes, there are no signs at all. That’s what makes suicide so devastating—it can blindside even the people who were paying attention.
The Aftermath: Guilt, Blame, and the Questions That Never End
When someone dies by suicide, the people left behind often feel wrecked by guilt.
“Could I have done something?”
“Did I miss the signs?”
“Was it my fault?”
Let me say this as clearly as possible: It is NOT your fault.
Depression and mental illness are not a matter of “trying harder” or “choosing happiness.” It’s a complex, deeply personal battle.
You can love someone with everything you have, and they can still feel like they’re drowning. That’s not a failure on your part.
And yet, families suffer. Friends grieve. Loved ones are left holding the unbearable weight of loss.
If you have lost someone to suicide, you are not alone. There are support groups and communities that can help, like:
• AFSP’s Healing Conversations (for suicide loss survivors).
• NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) support groups.
• Faith-based support groups and community mental health resources.
What Can We Do?
We have to talk about this. We have to remove the shame, the stigma, the silence. Suicide prevention isn’t just about noticing signs—it’s about community, connection, and making mental health care accessible.
• Check in on people—especially the strong ones. The ones who always seem “fine” might be struggling the most.
• Normalize talking about mental health. If someone had cancer, we wouldn’t tell them to “just think positive.” Mental health should be no different.
• Make sure people know help exists. The Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is 988—a simple, three-digit number that could save a life.
• Support those who are grieving. Suicide loss survivors need just as much love and care as anyone facing trauma.
But here’s the hardest truth: sometimes, there are no signs at all. Some people seem “fine” right up until they aren’t.
If You’re Struggling Right Now… Please Read This
I know that when you’re in that dark place, it feels like the pain will never end. That you’re tired. That you just want the thoughts to stop.
But please—hold on.
There are things you can do—not to fix everything all at once, but to take a small step forward.
Ways to Help Yourself Right Now
1. Reach Out—Even If It’s Just One Person
Talking to someone will not make you a burden. In fact, letting someone in may be the very thing that helps you through this. You don’t have to have the “right” words. You don’t have to explain everything all at once. Just start somewhere.
• Call a friend, a family member, or someone you trust. It doesn’t have to be a deep conversation. Even just saying, “I don’t feel okay right now” can be enough to break the silence.
• If talking feels too hard, write it down. Sometimes sending a text or jotting your thoughts in a journal helps get the words out when speaking feels impossible.
• If you don’t know who to talk to, call or text 988. The Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7, and you don’t have to be actively suicidal to reach out. They are there for anyone who needs support.
No one can help if they don’t know what you’re going through. Let someone in.
2. Connect With a Support Group
When you’re struggling, isolation can make things worse. Finding others who understand—who have been through it and made it to the other side—can be life-changing. You don’t have to go through this alone.
• Look for a local mental health support group. Organizations like NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) offer free, peer-led groups where you can talk with others who truly understand.
• Explore online support communities. Sometimes, it’s easier to open up in a space where you don’t feel judged.
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org
Crisis Text Line: www.crisistextline.org
The Trevor Project: www.thetrevorproject.org
To Write Love on Her Arms (TWLOHA): twloha.com
Worldwide: www.befrienders.org
7 Cups: www.7cups.com
Reddit: r/SuicideWatch: www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch
These platforms offer various forms of support, including crisis intervention, peer support, and community forums. It’s important to choose the resource that best fits your needs.
• If you’ve lost someone to suicide, grief support groups can help. Groups like AFSP’s Healing Conversations connect suicide loss survivors with people who have been in their shoes. It won’t bring your loved one back, but it might help you carry the weight of that grief a little more easily.
There are people who understand. You don’t have to do this alone.
3. Find a Community You Already Trust
If reaching out to a stranger feels too difficult, lean into the communities you’re already part of. Connection doesn’t have to come from a mental health group—it can come from anywhere that makes you feel safe.
• Faith-Based Groups: Many churches, mosques, synagogues, and spiritual communities have mental health ministries or support groups. Even if you’re not religious, finding a community rooted in compassion and support can be helpful.
• Hobby or Social Groups: If talking about your feelings feels too overwhelming, just being around others can be a powerful step. Whether it’s a book club, a knitting circle, a gaming community, or a sports league—anything that reminds you that you belong somewhere matters.
• Workplace Support: Some companies have Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) that offer free counseling sessions. If your job has a wellness program, check to see what mental health resources they might have.
Connection looks different for everyone. The important thing is finding a place where you feel seen and supported.
4. Take the Next Small Step—Just One
When you’re in survival mode, everything feels too big. The idea of “fixing” everything feels impossible, so instead of thinking about the future, just focus on the next small step.
• Drink a glass of water. Dehydration can make anxiety, fatigue, and depression worse. Even if you don’t feel like eating, water is a simple way to care for your body.
• Step outside, even for five minutes. A change of environment—even just standing on a porch or by a window—can shift your perspective, even if just slightly.
• Move your body. It doesn’t have to be exercise. Stretch, roll your shoulders, take a slow walk around the room. Physical movement can help break the cycle of stagnation.
• Breathe. Your nervous system is in overdrive right now. A slow inhale through your nose, a pause, and a deep exhale through your mouth can help bring things back into balance. Try box breathing: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds.
You don’t have to solve everything today. Just focus on getting through this moment.
5. Remind Yourself That You Are Worthy of Help
You may feel broken, but you are not beyond repair. Your story is not over.
Whatever that voice in your head is telling you—it’s lying.
Depression is a liar.
Trauma is a liar.
They tell you that you are alone, that no one cares, that nothing will get better. But those things are not true.
• Think about the people who love you, even if your mind tries to tell you they don’t.
• Think about the moments that made you smile, even if they feel distant.
• Think about the possibility that one day, the pain will be less, even if you can’t see it right now.
You are not a burden. You are not beyond help. The world is better with you in it.
Crisis Resources & Support
If you or someone you love is struggling, please use these resources:
• Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Dial 988 (Available 24/7)
• Crisis Text Line: Text “HOME” to 741741
• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP): www.afsp.org
• The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ support): 1-866-488-7386 or text “START” to 678678
• 7 Cups (Free emotional support chat): www.7cups.com
• Find a therapist: www.psychologytoday.com
In Loving Memory
Some people may ask, “Kathleen, how can you be writing this right now? You just lost your nephew.”
The truth is, we all deal with loss in different ways. And right now, this is mine.
I write this with tears streaming down my face, because I believe that if we bring awareness—if we have these hard conversations—we can save lives.
And if this reaches just one person who is struggling, if it gives them the strength to hold on for even one more day, then this pain, this grief, this loss… will not be in vain.
Because this isn’t about me. It’s about them. It’s about every person who feels like they’re drowning. It’s about those who are silently struggling. It’s about the families left behind, trying to make sense of the unthinkable.
If this article can help just one person reach out instead of giving up, then every single word was worth writing.
To my nephew—you are deeply loved, and you will never be forgotten. And to anyone reading this who is struggling, please know: you are not alone, you are loved, and your story is not over yet.
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"If this article can help just one person reach out instead of giving up, then every single word was worth writing."
Thank you, Kathleen, for using your writing muscles to help you through the shock and pain of losing your nephew and yet produce this much-needed article. It is beautifully written and full of valuable resources and sound advice--a bucket of wisdom that can help many people. I'm so deeply sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers to you and yours, especially your sister.❤🙏❤
I am so sorry for your loss Kathleen. My son took his life almost 4 years ago. It was (and remains) a devastating experience. This is an important post, thank you for all the time you have taken to put it together. You have deeply honoured your nephew in doing so. Sending love and hope x