The Invisible Thief: What’s Stealing Your Joy (And How to Take It Back)
The Daily Habits That Keep You Whole
Ever been cruising through life thinking, Yeah, I got this, and then, boom, you hit a wall? One day you’re fine, the next, you’re running on fumes, wondering what the hell happened.
Was it that awkward talk with a family member?
Too many late nights hustling at work?
Or maybe you’ve just been pushing too hard, too long, without a break.
Whatever it is, you can’t seem to bounce back. You’re eating right, drinking water, getting sleep… but still feel like you’re dragging yourself through the day.
Yeah, I’ve been there.
Recently, I found myself stuck in that fog- exhausted, unmotivated, just… off. And it wasn’t until I sat down with someone and started unpacking the last couple of years that it hit me.
For a good stretch of time, I’d been genuinely happy. Not perfect, not without struggles- life’s always gonna throw punches- but I had this deep sense of peace and joy.
So I started asking: What was I doing differently back then?
Turns out, I’d let two non-negotiables slip through the cracks: my connection with God and my time in nature with physical activity.
Now, I’m not talking about hour-long meditations or hiking Mount Everest. It’s simpler than spending a few quiet moments each morning connecting with something bigger than myself, then stepping outside and soaking in the world around me.
No phone, no to-do list… just being.
Somewhere along the way, life got busy. Deadlines, responsibilities, the constant push to do more, be more- it all chipped away at those daily rituals until I hit that wall headfirst.
Here’s the thing: burnout doesn’t happen overnight.
It sneaks up on you, little by little, until one day, you’re running on empty. But you can stop it before it hits.
How? By figuring out your own non-negotiables- the things that keep you grounded, balanced, and sane- and making damn sure they’re part of your daily routine.
And no, you’re not gonna figure this out in five minutes. Some people might have a lightbulb moment right away, but for most of us, it takes time- however long it takes- to dig deep and figure out what we truly need to thrive. But trust me, it’s worth the effort.
So let’s take a look at it…
How to Find Your Non-Negotiables (And Actually Stick to Them)
1. Make Space to Reflect—No Shortcuts
Set aside real, dedicated time to sit with yourself and ask the tough questions. Not while you’re scrolling your phone or rushing through your day- real time.
An hour, an afternoon, a weekend if you need it. The point is to get honest about what you need, not just what you think you should be doing. Ask yourself:
When was the last time I felt genuinely happy and at peace?
What daily habits or routines helped me feel that way?
What’s missing from my life right now that I know I need?
Write it down. Get it all out on paper so you can see it clearly.
2. Identify What’s Draining You
Sometimes the problem isn’t just what we’re not doing- it’s what we’re doing too much of. Stress, toxic relationships, overcommitting, constantly being “on”… these things slowly wear you down.
Take an honest look at where your energy is going and ask: Is this helping or hurting me? If it’s draining you, it’s time to set some boundaries.
3. Choose Your Non-Negotiables (and Keep It Simple)
Your non-negotiables are the things you need every single day to feel your best. Not a to-do list of self-improvement tasks- just the core habits that keep you grounded and sane.
For me, it’s connecting with God and spending time in nature (and physical activity). For you, it might be:
Moving your body (not for fitness goals—just to feel good)
Journaling or meditating to clear your mind
Spending time with loved ones who lift you up
Creating something - writing, painting, building, whatever “lights” you up
Or maybe it’s as simple as sitting quietly with a cup of coffee before the world wakes up
Pick 2-3 things that truly matter to you. These are your daily anchors- the habits you prioritize no matter what.
4. Lock It into Your Routine—Every Single Day
Here’s the hard truth: If you don’t intentionally make time for your non-negotiables, life will crowd them out. So build them into your daily schedule like they’re appointments you can’t miss.
Morning works best for a lot of people because it sets the tone for the day, but if evenings work better for you, that’s fine- just make it happen.
And yeah, some days will be busy. Some days you won’t feel like it. But these habits are what keep you from crashing in the first place.
Think of them as maintenance- like charging your phone. You wouldn’t expect your phone to run on zero battery… so why do we expect ourselves to?
5. Pay Attention to the Warning Signs
Burnout doesn’t hit out of nowhere. The signs show up early- you just have to notice them:
Feeling tired even after a good night’s sleep
Losing interest in things that used to make you happy
Getting irritable or anxious for no clear reason
Feeling overwhelmed by even small tasks
When you see those signs, don’t wait.
Take a step back and ask: Have I been skipping my non-negotiables? If the answer’s yes, it’s time to reset—before you hit the wall.
6. Own Your Health—No One Else Will
At the end of the day, no one’s coming to rescue you. No one else can prioritize your well-being- you have to do it yourself. And yeah, it takes effort. But so does burnout, exhaustion, and running on empty.
The difference is, one leads to a life you actually enjoy.
So ask yourself: What’s it gonna take for me to make this a priority? Because you have two choices- either you keep pushing until you crash, OR you start taking care of yourself now so you never have to hit that wall again.
The choice is yours.
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Transform To Wellness- Kathleen Thorne RN, LMT (RN3252112/ MA54880)
This is a great article. Today I missed one of my non-negotiables and I am feeling the deficit. I'll get back on track with it tomorrow morning.
Wise words here Kathleen. I realise reading them that it was only the existence of my non-negotiables (didn't think of them like this before reading this piece) that prevented me from being burnt out a couple of years ago. For me, they are early morning walks alone, and yoga, most days. Also an afternoon nap after lunch.